chéng wéi
成为
ān quán
安全
kōng jiān
空间
：
xué huì
学会
qíng xù
情绪
zì wǒ
自我
tiáo jié
调节
Becoming a Safe Space: Learning Emotional Self-Regulation
wǒ men我们cháng常shuō说 “ān quán安全kōng jiān空间 ” ，dàn但ān quán安全qí shí其实bú shì不是yí gè一个dì fāng地方 ，ér shì而是yī zhǒng一种gǎn jué感觉 。
We often say 'safe space,' but safety is not a place, it's a feeling.
yào要gěi给bié rén别人ān quán gǎn安全感 ，shǒu xiān首先yào要xué huì学会tiáo jié调节zì jǐ自己de的qíng xù情绪 。
To give others a sense of safety, you must first learn to regulate your own emotions.
bǐ rú比如 ，dāng当wǒ men我们hé和péng yǒu朋友yǒu有zhēng zhí争执shí时 ，kě néng可能huì会hěn很shēng qì生气huò或nán guò难过 。
For example, when we have a disagreement with a friend, we might feel angry or sad.
rú guǒ如果wǒ men我们néng能lěng jìng冷静xià lái下来 ，rèn zhēn认真tīng听duì fāng对方shuō huà说话 ，jiù就néng能ràng让duì fāng对方gǎn dào感到bèi被zūn zhòng尊重hé和lǐ jiě理解 。
If we can calm down and listen carefully to the other person, it makes them feel respected and understood.
qíng xù情绪zì wǒ自我tiáo jié调节bú shì不是bù不ràng让zì jǐ自己yǒu有qíng xù情绪 ，ér shì而是xué huì学会kòng zhì控制qíng xù情绪 ，bù不ràng让qíng xù情绪yǐng xiǎng影响bié rén别人 。
Emotional self-regulation doesn't mean having no emotions, but learning to control them so they don't affect others.
zhè yàng这样 ，bié rén别人hé和wǒ men我们zài在yì qǐ一起shí时huì会jué de觉得ān xīn安心 ，kě yǐ可以zuò做zhēn shí真实de的zì jǐ自己 。
This way, others feel comfortable around us and can be their true selves.
měi gè rén每个人dōu都kě yǐ可以liàn xí练习qíng xù情绪zì wǒ自我tiáo jié调节 ，bǐ rú比如shēn深hū xī呼吸 、tíng xià lái停下来xiǎng想yī一xiǎng想 ，huò zhě或者huàn换gè个jiǎo dù角度kàn看wèn tí问题 。
Everyone can practice emotional self-regulation, such as deep breathing, pausing to think, or looking at the problem from a different angle.
dāng当wǒ men我们néng能zuò dào做到zhè这yì diǎn一点 ，péng yǒu朋友 、jiā rén家人hé和tóng shì同事dōu都huì会gèng更yuàn yì愿意hé和wǒ men我们jiāo liú交流 ，guān xì关系yě也huì会gèng更hǎo好 。
When we can do this, friends, family, and colleagues are more willing to communicate with us, and relationships improve.
ān quán安全kōng jiān空间bú shì不是bié rén别人gěi给wǒ men我们de的 ，ér shì而是wǒ men我们zì jǐ自己chuàng zào创造de的 。
A safe space is not given by others, but created by ourselves.
xué huì学会qíng xù情绪zì wǒ自我tiáo jié调节 ，jiù shì就是xué huì学会guān xīn关心hé和jiē nà接纳bié rén别人 ，zhè这shì是yī zhǒng一种hěn很zhòng yào重要de的néng lì能力 。
Learning emotional self-regulation means learning to care for and accept others; it is a very important skill.